Truth In Satire

Tournament Of The Tyrant Tots: Donald Trump Versus Hitler, Stalin, And Mussolini

Who was the most demonic child of them all? Let’s find out.

The terrible Tyrant Tots, from upper left/clockwise: Trump, Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini. (Credits: dailymail.co.uk, www.holocaustresearchproject.org, all-that-is-interesting.com, becuo.com)

Today we look at 15 typical childhood scenarios to determine which of the world’s most famous tyrants stood out as an evil youth.

1. Beating up other children in school.
   All four of these future despots were childhood bullies except, believe it or not, Adolf Hitler.
2. Using “infant bone spurs” as an excuse for getting out of household chores.
   Only Donald Trump claimed he had bone spurs to weasel out of his duties at home.
3. Dumping a plate of spaghetti on the head of a sibling.
   Growing up in the pasta capital of the world, this was a favorite torment of Benito Mussolini’s, but Trump did the same with schnitzel.
4. Accusing other children of committing his own evil acts.
   All four can lay claim to this universal trait of tyrant tykes —denying responsibility and assigning blame to others.
5. Putting a bag of dog poop on a neighbor’s stoop on Halloween, lighting it with a match, and…