Truth In Satire

Why Stephen Miller Will Be Trump’s Last Man Standing (Hint: He’s Not A Man)

The White House’s top policy advisor and insensate cyborg is programmed to stay by the president’s side till the very end

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Stephen Miller is the self-proclaimed mastermind of the Trump administration’s recent effort to tear immigrant children away from their parents at the southern border, along with being the architect of myriad other nefarious, nationalistic schemes and strategies.

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Many political pundits also believe it is Miller who will be the last individual standing when the rest of Donald Trump’s inner circle has been indicted, arrested, imprisoned, or has simply quit.

But it isn’t Miller’s loyalty to the president, his law-abiding honesty, his tactical shrewdness, or his political survival instinct that ensures his job by the president’s side.

It’s his programming.

Stephen Miller is not a man, not a sentient being or carbon-based organism of any kind. He is a Russian-made cyborg built on a robotic chassis (Model #FSB19X243) that was first introduced by the Kremlin’s Foreign Security Service (FSB) in 2010 and modified for use in the White House in 2015.

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The high-functioning android was planted inside the Trump campaign by President Vladimir Putin and the FSB with the full-knowledge and approval of President Trump. Miller’s assignment, and he will not fail, is to communicate Putin’s plans to the easily manipulated and heavily in debt U.S. president and see that they are faithfully executed.

Miller is equipped with the latest sensors, spyware, coded-messaging features, and drone strike capabilities. He has infrared eyeballs for night vision, laser-guided mini-missiles in his fingertips, and can deliver a lethal blow to the president’s enemies using everything from his earlobes to his pinkie toes. Both of his faux testicles can be removed, ignited, and thrown as smoke bombs to create an effective diversion. Miller’s sophisticated circuitry is accessible through a compartment under his left armpit and he can function without system maintenance or battery replacement for up to two years.

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Stephen Miller is a diabolical killing machine designed to destabilize and ultimately destroy the United States. And his mission is proceeding much more quickly than the Kremlin could have wished for thanks to the clumsy but willing cooperation of Donald Trump.

Remember this: the last thing you will see as you are herded into a Siberian gulag in the months ahead will not be the dimwitted expression of the American POTUS, it will be the cold, lifeless stare of the ruthless Stephen Miller, cyborg model #FSB19X243.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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