Truth In Satire

White House Urges President To Avoid 18 Major “Moron Mistakes” During Asia Trip

Trump’s tendency to alienate foreign leaders with embarrassing acts and tactless remarks has his handlers on high alert

Every moment these two guys are together is an international crisis waiting to happen. (Credit: telzilla.com)

President Donald Trump will leave on a five-nation Asia tour to include Japan, South Korea, China, Vietnam and the Philippines on Friday and the 12-day overseas trip is causing great consternation inside the White House.

Chief of Staff and senior child care manager, John Kelly, has drafted a list of 18 major moron mistakes — protocol slights, assorted faux pas, and various verbal stupidities — that the president must avoid during the trip so as not to offend his Asian hosts at a particularly sensitive time.

We have obtained a copy of Kelly’s pre-trip checklist with the chief babysitter’s itemized warnings for the president:

1. Many people you see in Asia will have slanted or slitty eyes. This is normal. Do NOT ask them if they are sleepy.

Popularized in the TV show Kung Fu, the term “Grasshopper” was never used in China to refer to a student or innocent underling. (Credit: www.kiasoulforums.com)