Allan Ishac’s Naked Satire

U.S. To Conduct “Get Me The F*ck Out Of Here” Evacuation Drill In South Korea

Military stresses this is a “routine exercise and not related to the president’s reckless threats of imminent nuclear war in the region”

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Non-combatant American evacuees pretend to look worried during the drill. They were only pretending. (Credit:

On Monday, the U.S. military will begin drills in South Korea designed to prepare American “service members and their families to respond to a wide range of crisis management events such as noncombatant evacuation and… man-made disasters,” including a world-ending nuclear war.

The military emphasizes that the routine drill — which they are formally calling Operation “Courageous Channel,” and informally referring to as the “Get Me The Fuck Out Of Here” evacuation exercise — was previously scheduled and that there is no need for panic.

Military commanders on the ground in South Korea are recommending, however, that American citizens in the country “contact their families and say their last goodbyes, if they haven’t done so already — just in case.”

Talk of a military action on the Korean Peninsula has increased in recent months due to an escalation of provocative words between Washington, D.C. and Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea, primarily sparked by President Donald Trump’s itchy Twitter finger.

Washington insists, however, that the United States is not looking to go to war. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said on Sunday that President Trump is committed to diplomacy “until the first bomb drops” — a statement that reassured absolutely no one.

General Vincent Brooks, the commander of U.S. forces in South Korea, in an effort to further calm tensions in the lead-up to Operation “Get Me The Fuck Out Of Here, said, “This training is as important to readiness as our other routine events such as tank gunnery and fighter wing exercises.” Gen. Brooks statement also served to comfort no one.

Americans on the ground in South Korea say they are petitioning the military to recast Monday’s drill as an actual air and sea evacuation, “complete with DVD movies for the adults, Halloween candy for the kids, and dart boards with Donald Trump’s picture on it for everyone.”


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