Turkey’s Economy Teeters As Hammacher Schlemmer Drops Turkish Towels From Holiday Gift Catalog

“For 168 years we’ve been providing them with our best cotton terry,” says President Erdoğan, “and now they switch to Egyptian!”

President Erdogan was devastated by Hammacher Schlemmer’s decision to end a relationship that had begun with his great great great grandfather in 1848.
During a strong holiday season Hammacher Schlemmer can sell more than 200,000 Genuine Turkish Bathrobes in the United States — their #1 item for the past four decades.
Of these Egyptian cotton towel substitutes, Erdogan said, “Look at this 200-gram, short pile crap — it’s going to feel like sandpaper on your ass.”

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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