Truth In Satire

Trump Warns Hurricane Jose, “Do Not Try To Enter The U.S. Illegally”

President also puts Hurricanes Juan, Javier, and Jesus on notice that they will not be welcome in America either

Image for post
Image for post
The president is sticking to his campaign promise not to let any Spanish-sounding hurricanes enter the U.S. (Credit: and

President Donald Trump did not waste any time letting a Category 3 storm in the Caribbean, with the Spanish-sounding name of Jose, know that he would not be welcome in the United States.

“Judges or no judges, I am not going to let Jose just march into America with no cash, no employment prospects, and every intention of surging onshore just to destroy the jobs and livelihoods of millions of hardworking white Americans,” said the president.

Mr. Trump also told Jose, in no uncertain terms, that his relatives, Juan, Javier, and Jesus “better turn around and go back where they came from, because my border patrol agents have been alerted to their presence and will stop them in their storm tracks, long before they enter the country.”

Hurricane Jose, with sustained winds of 120 mph, could try to enter America on the east coast by Tuesday night. In a statement, the White House said thousands of U.S. Border Patrol officers would be there to greet him “and send him back to Cuba, the Dominican Republic, or to whatever South American country he left with dreams of finding fame and fortune in America.”

The president followed the White House statement with a tweet of his own early Monday morning: “America WINNING against Spanish-speaking weather again! Jose MUCH weaker than Harvey or Irma and going away. My crackdown on illegals is working!”

Mr. Trump also tweeted that he will now turn his attention to desert dust storms, which typically have Muslim names, as soon as he scares Hurricane Jose away from our shores.

Author’s Note: I have been criticized in the past week for making light of the destructive and deadly storms that have hit the United States. Yes, it’s true, I’ll try to find humor in anything and I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone. That said, if you must sandbag your home against rising floodwaters, it is best to stack Republicans in the path of the surge because they are heavier, thicker, and less likely to budge.


Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.


Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store