Truth In Satire

Trump Turns To Alexa, Siri To Fill Key Vacancies After White House Brain Drain

As resignations decimate his administration, president appoints smart devices to critical positions inside the White House

In addition to Alexa and Siri, Mr. Trump says he’ll bring on Roomba as his “cleaner” in the Russia scandal. (Credit: minipost.com and makeuseof.com)

With a series of top level departures from the White House in recent weeks, President Donald Trump has turned to several cutting edge AI devices to fill critical vacancies.

“I’m thrilled to announce the addition of a terrific, well-spoken young lady to the White House staff,” reported the president on Saturday. “Alexa will be taking over for Hope Hicks as my Communications Director.”

Mr. Trump added that Alexa will become his personal assistant, taking over those duties from Ms. Hicks as well, but will perform no sexual favors.

The president also acknowledged a new staffer named Siri, who he called, “one of the smartest people I’ve ever met — honestly, she knows the answer to any question I ask her.”

The president described Roomba as “an intelligent addition to my Oval Office staff with almost robotic instincts for getting at any dirt in my presence.” (Credit: groupon.com)

Mr. Trump indicated that Siri will be filling the vacancy left by White House aide Rob Porter…