Truth In Satire

Trump Threatens Limited Nuclear Strike On Olympic Figure Skating Venue

With a North Korean pairs team qualifying for the games, president says this is the time to display U.S. military might

North Korean skaters Ryom Tai-ok and Kim Ju-sik will be at ground zero when President Trump’s executes his nuclear attack. (Credit: reviewjournal.com and mercurynews.com)

President Donald Trump is hinting at a surgical strike on the Olympic figure skating venue using nuclear weapons when the 2018 winter games begin in Pyeongchang, South Korea on February 9th.

“I’ve instructed Mad Dog Mattis to prepare a very limited nuclear strike on the rink where the North Korean skaters will be performing,” said the president on Tuesday. “In this way I can show Little Rocket Man and the world how awesome our military capabilities are without massive destruction to the Olympic staging areas.”

Mr. Trump assures S. Korean President Moon Jae-in, “Don’t worry, we’ll be using a tiny, itty-bitty nuke.” (Credit: voanews.com)

Military experts say, however, that a “limited nuclear attack,” as the president is proposing, is virtually impossible since the explosive force of even a small atomic bomb would likely wipe out all of Pyeongchang and its population, along with the entire Olympic Village and athletes from more than 80 nations who will be attending the games.