Truth In Satire

Trump Signs Historic Agreement To Host “Miss North Korea Beauty Pageant”

President also agrees to be judge for first-ever bathing suit competition in a communist country

Image for post
Image for post
As Kim Jong-Un looks on, President Trump signs a letter of intent to be a beauty pageant judge in North Korea. (Credit: http://www.staradvertiser.com)

laying to his strengths during a summit meeting with Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, President Donald Trump signed a historic agreement in Singapore on Tuesday morning agreeing to host the “Miss North Korea Beauty Pageant.”

Image for post
Image for post
Mr. Trump leaves Singapore with what he called “the best agreement I could possibly hope for.” (Credit: sfgate.com)

“I’m very excited to legitimize the ruthless dictatorship of my good friend Kim Jong-Un by accepting an invitation to host his country’s super sexy communist beauty pageant to be held in the North Korean capital of Poontang next month,” said the president in comments to the global press corps. “I’m also honored to be asked by this extremely nice man to be one of the judges for the swimsuit competition which is, frankly, my favorite part of every pageant along with sneaking into the contestants’ dressing rooms. Anyway, I know this is going to be a really top of the line event and I’m just happy to be part of it. Thank you, Kim.”

Image for post
Image for post
The president says he’s very excited to be judging “these lovely Asian girls in skimpy communist bikinis.” (Credit: www.allkpop.com)

Asked what if any progress had been made on the denuclearization of North Korea, which was the original focus of the Singapore summit, Mr. Trump said, “I know the fake news media wants to ignore the importance of this major beauty pageant for bringing our two countries together, but I think that’s just demeaning to the beautiful, high-quality North Korean babes who will be vying for the crown.”

As the summit came to a close, President Trump was said to be negotiating for the worldwide television rights to air the Miss North Korea Beauty Pageant using a shell company that he operates with Jared Kushner.

(Note: The president mispronounced the name of North Korea’s capital. It is Pyongyang, not “Poontang.”)

****

Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

Written by

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store