Truth In Satire

Trump Shatters Glass Ceiling — Appoints Daughter To Be First Woman President After His Resignation

“By naming Ivanka as Commander-In-Chief, I’ve done something that no woman before me has been able to do”

Donald Trump announced that he has named his daughter, Ivanka, to take his place after resigning. While pleased with the news, Ivanka slipped into a state of smiling catatonia during the press conference.

Donald Trump fulfilled a campaign promise today to be “the best president for women” by making his favorite female the next President of the United States upon his resignation.

Saying he has a TV show to produce and a business to run, Donald Trump broke with convention yet again, relinquishing the presidency to his eldest daughter Ivanka, telling reporters that she is extremely capable and fully qualified to take his place, “even more so than Mikey the Bible Beater.”

“In addition to being very smart and incredibly successful, your new president will have a magnificent pair of luscious knockers,” said the colorful Donald Trump.

“This is an amazing moment in American history as I, Donald J. Trump, finally succeeded in breaking the glass ceiling for women. By appointing my daughter Ivanka to be the first female president of the USA, I am keeping the Trump name in the White House while avoiding any conflicts of interest by retaining full control of my businesses. I truly believe this is a win-win for…