Truth In Satire

Trump Says He Would Have Served In Military “If It Wasn’t For My BS”

Referring to his bone spurs as “BS Syndrome,” the president said he’d honor “fellow sufferers” on D-Day

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Bad BS kept Donald Trump from serving in the military. (Credit:

Speaking with reporters on his way to France on Wednesday afternoon, id he would have definitely served in the military “if it wasn’t for my BS,” or Bone Spur Syndrome.

“As everyone knows, I suffer from a very serious case of BS, so I couldn’t do my duty in Vietnam, although it would have been an honor,” said the president as his plane landed in Caen, near the site of the Normandy invasion on June 6, 1944.

Trump will be there to commemorate the 75th anniversary of D-Day, when allied forces crossed the English Channel and stormed the beaches of France to repel the German army.

More than four thousand American, British, and Canadian soldiers died in the first 24-hours of the bloody battle, although there is no evidence that men with bone spurs were involved in the attack.

Trump, however, insisted that “brave bone spur sufferers” have played a major role in all U.S. wars, including World War II. He called anyone who doubted that “nasty, fake news people with no compassion for those of us dealing with out-of-control BS.”


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