Truth In Satire

Trump Says Constitution Getting In Way Of Making America Great Again

President calls Founding Fathers “bunch of goody-two-shoes who used very bad laws to obstruct this country’s growth ”

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“I don’t need no stinkin’ Constitution.” (Credit: www.dailykos.com)

resident Donald Trump is finding out that the United States Constitution is filled with all kinds of uncompromising laws that apply to the federal government, individual states, American citizens, and even him — and he’s not happy about it.

“What a stupid, outdated document,” said Mr. Trump, speaking to reporters from the Oval Office on Wednesday. “You can’t focus on making real money for yourself or the country with stuff like the Sixteenth Amendment forcing you to appear in court every two minutes. Terrible!” The amendment, added in 1913, provides the outline for federal income tax legislation.

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These are some of the bozos who drafted the Constitution and are now getting in the way of Trump’s vision for “a super great nation.”

“And that Fifteenth Amendment? So dumb,” the president fumed. “How are conservative candidates expected to win elections in the future if every Mexican, mulignane, and rag head is allowed to vote? I call it real cheating. Cancel that amendment!”

The president was railing against the Fifteenth Amendment, which prohibits the use of race or color in determining who can vote.

“And what were those wooden denture dimwits thinking when they threw in Article II?” Mr. Trump asked. “It ties my hands. I can’t make America massively great again if they’re not going to let me work around these archaic laws.” The leader of the free world was referring to the second article of the Constitution which limits presidential powers.

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Trump says he can only bring back coal jobs if he has unlimited power to work around EPA regulations and open mines in national parks.

“Look, no one is going to stop me from being the best president ever,” he concluded. “If every time I make a move some constitutional lawyer yells ‘foul,’ I’m never going to be able to bring coal jobs back or shoot Michael Cohen dead in the middle of Fifth Avenue and move on for the good of the country.”

The president was referring to his personal lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, who appears ready to flip and become a star witness for the U.S. attorney’s office in the Southern District of New York.

If that were to happen, it will be the very U.S. Constitution that Donald Trump dislikes so much that will inevitably lead to his impeachment.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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