Truth In Satire

Trump Demands “Cage Match” Format For Upcoming Summit With Kim Jong-Un

President says unorthodox meeting style would “help settle this nuclear business quickly and get some very high TV ratings, too”

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President Trump has challenged the North Korean leader to a physical clash of nuclear titans. (Credit:mtlblog.com/news/)

Sensing an opportunity to gain the upper hand on North Korea’s supreme leader, and attract a huge international television audience in the process, President Donald Trump has proposed that he and Kim Jong-Un adopt a cage match format for their upcoming summit meeting.

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Mr. Trump says he’s tired of tweeting insults at the North Korean leader and wants to “slam some sense into him” inside the wrestling cage. (Credit: www.al.com/entertainment)

Dubbing it “The Orange Hammer vs. The Yellow Rocket,” Mr. Trump asserted that a no-holds-barred wrestling match would be “much more interesting than a stupid conversation” as well as a chance for the North Korean leader to “show the world that he can handle a leg drop and a body slam or two.”

The meeting is scheduled for late May or early June, possibly in the capital of Mongolia, Ulan Bator, which many believe would be a dramatic backdrop for a internationally televised, steel cage match.

Most on the minds of wrestling fans who support the president’s proposal involve questions about unbiased officiating, as well as what the opposing world leaders would wear in the ring to retain a modicum of dignity in the contest?

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If the North Koreans counter with a proposal for a sumo wrestling match, Donald Trump’s excessive body weight could be an advantage. (Credit: http://www.babydondon.com/photoshop-diplomacy/_

Some in the Trump administration also worry that a physical contest would favor the much younger Kim Jong-un and ultimately humiliate the 72-year-old American president in front of a worldwide wrestling audience and international affairs fans.

But Mr. Trump seemed unafraid when asked about his chances in a one-on-one brawl with the unpredictable North Korean leader. “If I can charge a maniac school shooter, completely unarmed, while he’s spraying me with bullets from an AR-15, I’m certainly not afraid of the kimchi dough boy from PyeongChang. This is going to be easy, believe me.”

Foreign policy experts say that while Mr. Trump’s proposal of a cage match for his historic meeting with Kim Jong-Un will probably not lead to the denuclearization of the communist nation, it could lead to some of the best memes during Mr. Trump’s presidency, which would stand as a social media victory for the president as well as a much-needed, comedic gift to the world.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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