Truth In Satire

Trump Pardons Fixer Scooter Libby, Then Immediately Adds Him To Legal Team

Running out of qualified legal representation, the president first cleared then quickly hired the felon, fixer, and former D.C. lawyer

President Trump pardoned the infamous Scooter Libby on Friday for his convictions on obstruction of justice charges in 2007, then immediately added the former big-time Washington lawyer and Vice-President Dick Cheney’s chief of staff to his legal defense team.

“As meanie Mueller continues his TOTAL WITCH HUNT against me for NO OBSTRUCTION at all, I decided to pardon a man who was badly treated in the past by a special counsel,” tweeted President Trump. “Since Mr. Libby, or Scoots as I call him, already knows a lot about obstruction, he begged me to add him to my legal team, which I graciously agreed to do. Scoots is now my lead counsel.”

I. Lewis Libby Jr., who is known as Scooter, not Scoots, was also convicted of lying to the F.B.I. and leveraging intelligence leaks at the highest levels, both issues of great concern to the president.

Many political observers are now wondering if Mr. Trump is sending a signal to top-notch attorneys serving time in prison that he will pardon them if they agree to join his legal team.

Another possibility is that the president is alerting allies, like his personal lawyer and fixer Michael D. Cohen, who is under criminal investigation, that he will pardon them after their arrests if they promise to keep their mouths shut about his many crimes.

Asked by reporters in New York City on Friday if he got the message, Mr. Cohen responded with a wink, a nod, and the words, “The truth’s concealed, my lips are sealed, and I won’t yield when the indictments are unsealed.”

At press time, the White House confirmed that it has heard from more than 200 disbarred, imprisoned lawyers requesting full presidential pardons in exchange for working pro bono on Mr. Trump’s growing legal troubles.


Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.


Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store