Truth In Satire

Trump Ordered Mueller Fired Back In June; Mueller Plans To Return Favor Soon

Special counsel expects to give president his marching orders before the summer, according to those familiar with the investigation

Allan Ishac
2 min readJan 26, 2018


Special Counsel Robert Mueller now has all the dirt he needs to bury Donald Trump. (Credit:

The New York Times reported on Thursday that President Donald Trump ordered the firing of special counsel Robert Mueller in June of last year.

Sources close to the investigation say that Mr. Mueller plans to respond in kind with an order for the president to step down or be indicted by June of this year.

Bob Mueller eats presidents for breakfast. (

“Mr. Mueller is excited to match President Trump’s sack strategy with a finishing move of his own,” said a lead prosecutor in Mueller’s office who spoke on condition of anonymity. “But while Mr. Trump backed down after his White House lawyer threatened to quit, it’s full steam ahead for Mr. Mueller. This is checkmate for the special counsel.”

“The president’s birthday is June 14th and Bob [Mueller] keeps saying he wants to give Donald Trump a gift he’ll never forget,” said another investigator on Mueller’s team. “No doubt it will be an XXL, orange prison onesie.”

Well, well, what’d you know, these two guys are friends. Bye, bye, Donnie! (Credit:

Mr. Mueller, who is leading the investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election, is said to be eager to interview President Trump in the next few weeks “so we can all watch him cry like a baby,” according to a third lawyer in Mueller’s office.

“Despite his TV tough guy image of being eager to fire people, Donald Trump is actually afraid to do it. Bob Mueller has no such problem.”


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Allan Ishac

Bestselling Author. Satirist, Humor Writer at MuddyUm and The Haven. Former advertising creative director. Visit me at