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Truth In Satire
Trump Now Says His Involvement In New Disaster Film Prompted Nuclear Threats
President apologizes for threatening nuclear war, saying he was just trying to drum up interest in his Hollywood blockbuster
President Donald Trump acknowledged on Thursday that his frequent threats to use his nuclear arsenal against North Korea, and settle grievances with other adversarial nations using military action, were just ploys to generate excitement for a new disaster movie that he has been working on with well-known film director, M. Night Shyamalan.
“I want to apologize if my nuclear taunts toward Kim Jong-Un, both via Twitter and during my address to the UN General Assembly last fall, caused any alarm,” said the president. “I only intended to stir up prerelease excitement for the summer opening of our big blockbuster. Maybe I took it too far.”
The global annihilation film, tentatively titled “Planet Earth Down!” is set to star Sylvester Stallone as the barely intelligible President Daniel J. Trampet, the insane leader of the free world who becomes president by an unfortunate twist of fate and then provokes a nuclear war to prove he is a legitimate head of state and a tough guy who must be taken seriously.
