Truth In Satire
Trump, Kim Jong-Un Choose Prestigious Paris Hair Salon For Historic Meeting
Both leaders say that updated hairstyles could set stage for fresh start in U.S.–North Korean relations
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When the leaders of the United States and North Korea convene for an historic meeting in the next two months, it will be held in an unlikely location — at the upscale Parisian hair salon of David Mallet, coiffeur to the city’s most beautiful people.
Both President Donald Trump and Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un say that their outdated hairstyles are the subject of constant ridicule, and believe that a contemporary cut from Paris’ most famous hairstylist could put them on course for momentous and progressive political changes.
“I’m looking for a cut that will give me more confidence as I meet with little Rocket Man,” said President Trump, speaking from the Oval Office. “I like the style Manny Macron wears, and he told me he goes to Mallet’s salon.” Mr. Trump was referring to Emmanuel Macron, President of France.
Kim Jong-Un also seemed excited about meeting the American president at a high-end hair salon for their first encounter. He said through an interpreter: “My hair not so bad as American dotard’s, but still ugly. It’s like bad bowl cut from 1950s. I want Paris hair man to make me look like Hollywood movie star. Need him to shave chest pubes, too. No one in North Korea has silly chest hair.”
Foreign policy experts believe that their inferior, obsolete haircuts have put both leaders on edge, creating a confrontational atmosphere that recently brought them to the brink of nuclear war. These political observers contend that the decision to conduct a major diplomatic meeting in an opulent, 4,000 sq. ft. Parisian hair salon with a classic atmosphere and spectacular views of the City of Lights might be the perfect place for a positive meeting where…
