Truth In Satire

Trump Has Plan To Beat Cyber Hackers: Put Exclamation Point At End Of Passwords

President personally tested simple fix, found it effective against Russians and “400-pound fat guys sitting on their beds”

According to the Trump administration’s new cybersecurity chief, an exclamation point is all you need to prevent your computer from being hacked and to permanently safeguard your laptop and cellphone.

Determined to prevent future computer hacking, and thwart cyber interference by foreign powers, President Donald Trump has advanced a comprehensive plan he describes as “foolproof.”

“As we all know, computers have complicated lives very greatly,” said Mr. Trump. “The whole age of computer has made it where nobody knows exactly what is going on. And we don’t have the kind of security we need. That’s why my program, ‘Project Exclamation Point,’ or PEP, is going to be so huge. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it works.”

President Trump calls Project Exclamation Point, “bold, simple, and effective.”

According to the president-elect’s new cybersecurity chief, Morton Salk, the PEP plan can safeguard the computers of individuals, corporations, and government officials and requires only one step — just add an exclamation point at the end of any existing password or access code.