Allan Ishac’s Naked Satire

Trump Hails Hugh Hefner As “The Man Who Taught Me How To Exploit Women”

President, in tears, calls Playboy Magazine’s founder “a pioneer who paved the way for big time misogynists like me and Cosby”

Hugh Hefner with one of the many busty blondes he wore on his arm over the years. (Credit: www.usmagazine.com)

Calling him “my hero,” President Donald Trump marked the death of 91-year-old Hugh Hefner, founder of the iconic Playboy empire, with a tearful tribute in the White House Rose Garden.

Before he was the President of the United States, Mr. Trump’s smug mug appeared on the March 1990 cover of Playboy Magazine. (Credit: www.nbcnews.com)

“Hef was like the over-sexed father I never had,” sobbed the president, wearing a sailor’s cap and a pair of purple silk pajamas that Mr. Hefner, aka Hef, gave him during a visit to the renowned Playboy Mansion back in 2010. “He taught me that degrading women was not only fun, it could also be profitable, as I discovered by buying the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant and other exploitative beauty contests where I could walk right into the dressing rooms and stare at amazing hotties naked. Hugh Hefner was a pioneering pervert who paved the way for all us other misogynists in the entertainment business, as well as conservative politics.”

Yup, that’s the future First Lady on the right, Melania Knauss, at a Playboy event with Donald Trump in 2003. (Credit: www.nytimes.com)

In recent years, the relationship between Mr. Trump and the Hefner empire soured somewhat after Playboy heir, Cooper Hefner, criticized the then presidential candidate in a 2016 article he penned: “Trump doesn’t care about the office of the President. He doesn’t care about the American public. He doesn’t care about anything other than Trump.”

But the scalding reproach from the Playboy scion did not diminish Mr. Trump’s admiration for Hugh Hefner himself, as is evidenced by the president’s unbridled praise for the successful publishing mogul during his Rose Garden tribute:

“Constantly surrounded by gorgeous women with bunny ears and fluffy tails, Hef lived the kind of playboy dream life that most young men still aspire to today. His unique brand of vulgarity and abuse of women is a throwback to a more male-dominated age. I, for one, am going to miss his example as I work to debase, devalue, and marginalize American women over the course of my sexist presidency. I just hope I can make Hugh Hefner proud.”

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Thanks all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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