Trump, Cosby In Talks To Launch New “Lowlife Entertainment Channel” On FOX
Offering premiere programming for predators, Lowlife features Cosby reruns, a new TV series from Harvey Weinstein, and more
Fresh off his conviction for sexual assault, former comedian and TV icon Bill Cosby announced plans to launch the Lowlife Entertainment Channel on FOX in association with Donald Trump.
Billed as a counterpoint to the #MeToo movement, the new channel will feature premiere programming for predators, perverts, creeps, dirtbags, slimeballs and womanizers.
“Don and I felt that there was a need for more sexist programming that would appeal to a growing audience of degenerates feeling shunned by society, spending more and more time under house arrest,” said Mr. Cosby, immediately after his verdict came down last week. “Lowlife Entertainment will bring these men the kind of voyeuristic programming that will not only arouse their worst instincts but make them feel that they’re among friends.”
Donald Trump was asked why he joined Bill Cosby in this new television venture with two years and a half years still remaining in his presidential term.
“First, I’ve known Bill Cosby a long time, great man, and his instincts for creating hit programming is as flawless as mine,” said the president. “Second, I’ve been asked by a lot of men to get involved in the #MeToo movement, mostly by protecting them with pardons if women accuse them of sexual assault and they get arrested. Lowlife is a great way to keep these men entertained in prison until their pardons come through. And, finally, as much as I love being president, I might decide to resign early at some point. The Lowlife Entertainment Channel gives me a foothold in television, my first love, with an exciting FOX vehicle that also allows me to speak directly to my base — louts, lugs and lechers.”
In addition to a new series created by the despicable Harvey Weinstein titled “Beverly Hills Blue Balls,” the prime time weekday line-up on the Lowlife Channel will include:
7:00pm: Kids In Cars Getting Milkshakes With A Child Molester — Devout sicko and former Alabama judge Roy Moore lures children under 12 into his car for ice cream floats with a side order of molestation. Kids In Cars is the first of several pedophilia-themed programs planned for the Lowlife channel.
8:00pm: Mario Batali’s Casanova Casseroles — Dressed in an all-orange jumpsuit, not just his famous orange Crocs, the portly slob shares favorite recipes “that never fail to woo the ladies.” Mario features new debauched dishes nightly, some that pair well with a red wine spiked with date rape drugs.
9:00pm: The Politics of Pantyhose — Former FOX hush money king, Bill O’Reilly, gets a chance to dust off his most abusive sexist slurs in this big television comeback. The lecherous, lying loudmouth rubs women the wrong way during the first half of the show, then berates them mercilessly in the second half.
10:00pm: Charlie Rose’s “Do You Know What I Did To Your Daughter?” — The famous former PBS interviewer sits down with the parents of dozens of young females interns who he has exposed himself to over the years and asks them if they know what he did to their daughters, where were they when the abuse happened, and what kind of punishment would be too good for him? The revealing interviews are always provocative and sometimes end violently.
11:00pm: Polyamory Sex Olympics with Matt Lauer — The disgraced morning show host debuts on late night with a probing look at the illicit sexual exploits of other men who take advantage of women on the job, at school, in bars, at dance clubs, and other inappropriate locations. Matt’s inside knowledge of polyamory’s sexual landscape gives his new show an authentic, audacious attitude that can’t help but arouse the cheater in every man.
Watch your local listings for the launch of the new Lowlife Entertainment Channel on FOX — offering the best of humanity’s worst!
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