Presidential Pugilism

Trump Challenges Biden To Cage Match, Hopes To Humiliate Octogenarian President

‘Sleepy Joe and I can avoid another rigged election by settling this in the Octagon’

Trump says he’s tired of stalking Biden on TruthSocial, wants to slam him on the mat. (Photo Credit: ibw21.org)

Sensing that an early 2024 presidential victory is within his grasp, Donald Trump is challenging Joe Biden to meet him for a winner-take-all, Wrestlemania/MMA-style cage match on January 15th in Las Vegas.

Dubbing the fight, “The MAGA Mauler vs. The Oval Office Impostor,” Trump asserts that battling inside a ring or the octagon is a more reliable measure of a leader than “an election that’s already fixed.” He added, “If Sleepy Joe can’t handle my Piledriver and Facebuster maneuver, he’ll never be able to take on Vlad, Xi, and Hamas for four more years. It would be a complete disaster.”

Anticipating a physical confrontation, Biden is said to be rigorously training to face Trump. (Image Credit: C.J. Robinson via GQ.com)

Republican leaders in Congress, initially appalled by Trump’s proposal, are said to be warming to the idea, pointing out that the overlap between the pro-wrestling audience and Trump’s conservative base is nearly 100%. “This could really lock up any Republican holdouts and pull in a few white supremacists who…