Trump Calls Revoking Obama’s Birth Certificate “My Number One Priority”
After gutting all of Mr. Obama’s achievements, Trump tells aides, “I’m finally going to send that cocky chombo back to Africa”
With his dismantling of the Iran Nuclear Deal, one of President Barack Obama’s signature achievements, Donald Trump has nearly completed his goal of gutting every policy, program, and piece of legislation of Mr. Obama’s presidency.
Now Mr. Trump says he’ll turn his attention to his number one obsession — proving that Barack Obama was not born in America and was never a legitimate president.
“While demolishing the legacy of my non-native predecessor has given me a great deal of pride and satisfaction, revoking Barack Hussein Obama’s citizenship will be my crowning achievement” said Mr. Trump speaking with reporters. “I can’t wait to put all my energies into completing this critical initiative for the country.”
Mr. Trump spent years pushing the so-called “birther conspiracy theory,” the idea that Barack Obama was born in Kenya and not in the United States. This racist theory has been discredited repeatedly and the former president’s birth certificate is a matter of public record.
But President Trump has told many of his closest advisers that he’ll become a hero to white America “if I can prove he’s not a real American and wipe all evidence of Obama’s eight disastrous years from the history books. I want everyone focused on this mission.”
“President Trump doesn’t appear to have any real agenda of his own, doesn’t understand any aspect of domestic or foreign policy, and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about charting a positive course for the nation,” said one White House staffer, speaking off the record. “His singular mission is to undo everything Mr. Obama’s accomplished. That’s his raison d’etre as far as we can tell.”
Another source inside the White House, who spoke off the record, said Mr. Trump is now fixated on locating Barack Obama’s fourth grade report card rumored to be circulating on the “dark web.” Mr. Trump hopes it will prove that the former president attended the Bingley Grammar School in Nairobi, Kenya, and will help build a case for deporting him.
“This is all such bullshit,” said a top Trump administration official who said she hopes to resign in the next few weeks. “We have climate concerns, immigration issues, the Iran nuclear arms deal, a Middle East about to blow, and a ton of other important issues on the Republican agenda and this bozo has us chasing our tails trying to find a non-existent document. Honestly, serving under this simpleminded, petty president makes me wish I had been born in Kenya myself.”
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