Trump Asking 12% Of American Women Not Groped By Him To Come Forward

Allan Ishac
2 min readOct 25, 2016

Pleads with all fat, ugly, out of shape 4’s (and below) to defend his good judgement and incredible respect for women

Trump seen here staring at a large woman who handed him the sign — she says she’ll probably, most likely, vote for him.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is appealing to the small percentage of American women not kissed, fondled, insulted, harassed, sued, groped or raped by him to come forward to attest to his unbelievable respect for them.

The Trump campaign is asking all women over 150 lbs., who have never won a beauty contest or been to the gym, who were harassed in high school and not asked to the prom, to uphold Trump’s claim that no one will do more for women than he will.

Trump’s most visible female surrogates, campaign manager Kellyanne Conway and daughter Ivanka, hit the Fox News circuit this morning exhorting women with facial moles and oily hair, big asses and cellulite to leave Walmart and rush to their local polling places to pick up early ballots and vote for the only man in this race who has aggressively loved women since his first sexual assault accusation in junior high (settled out of court).

Candidate Trump also promised these average female voters that if elected, he will dispatch sons Eric and Donald Jr. to the far corners of the country to personally give these ordinary Americans “a little coochie coochie from The Donald.”

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Allan Ishac

Author of The Mystic In The Mews. Humor Writer at MuddyUm and The Haven. Former advertising creative director. Visit me at allanishac.com.