Truth In Satire

Trump Announces “Pinocchio Prize” Honoring Administration’s Biggest Liars

Kirstjen Nielsen, Jeff Sessions, and Rudy Giuliani to be first recipients, with president himself capturing highest distinction

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The liar-in-chief granted himself one of his own distinguished awards for distortion and disinformation. (Credit:

resident Donald Trump turned a hallmark of his administration — spewing falsehoods and blatantly lying — into a mark of achievement on Wednesday by instituting the first-ever “Pinocchio Prize.”

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The president initially considered calling his award the “Bullshit Trophy,” but settled on the “Pinocchio Prize.” (Credit:

“I’m proud to announce the distinguished Pinocchio Prize as a way of recognizing excellence in deception by the many talented liars in my administration,” Mr. Trump said during a brief ceremony at the White House. “The first recipients of my monthly Pinocchio Prize are Kirstjen ‘The Blonde Bullshitter’ Nielsen, Jeff ‘Lie Through My Teeth’ Sessions, and Rudy ‘The Fabulous Fabricator’ Giuliani. Of course, Donald J. Trump, who is the biggest tall tale teller and slander slinger ever, will also be honored this month and every month hereafter.”

The president said he came up with the award because “imitation is the highest form of flattery,” and worked with several top staffers to develop an appropriate name. Also considered were the “Balderdash Prize,” the “Bullshit Trophy,” and the “Whopper Award,” but the president decided on the “Pinocchio Prize.”

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The president displaying his just-signed executive order creating the Pinocchio Prize. (Credit:

This new recognition, which Mr. Trump instituted via executive order, is viewed as an outstanding achievement by anyone working inside the president’s liar-loaded White House.

The president also said that while Nielsen, Sessions and Giuliani are the first to be recognized, “I expect to be awarding several other frequent fibbers in my administration with a Pinocchio Prize next month, including Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and the former truth-teller turned fast-talking falsifier, John Kelly. They’ve all been doing a great job of bending the truth into a pretzel.”

The Pinocchio Prize comes with a cash award of $250 and a prosthetic nose extender.


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