Truth In Satire

Trump Announces Makeover Of Camp David Into Luxurious “IvankaLand Resort”

Calls current presidential retreat “a disaster that I will transform into an unforgettable, world-class hotel and spa property”

President Trump held a press conference in the Main Lodge at Camp David to announce his plans to turn the historic presidential retreat into “one of the greatest hotel, spa and golf resorts in the world.”

After touring Camp David last weekend, President Donald Trump called a press conference to announce he would be demolishing the presidential retreat and turning it into a five-star hotel, spa and golf resort.

The new, luxurious vacation destination will be open to all verified American citizens from red sates and be renamed the “IvankaLand Resort,” after Trump’s 36-year-old daughter and paramour.

“What a dilapidated dump,” Trump said after his guided tour. “I wouldn’t send Rudy here and I don’t even like the guy. After more than 70 years, it’s time to transform Camp David into something with class, a Trump property fit for despots, oligarchs,maybe a few top dollar prostitutes.”

Trump has already had aerial photographs taken of the 200-acre Maryland retreat in anticipation of a major redevelopment.

Camp David, located in the Blue Ridge Mountains about 60 miles from the White House, was first named the official presidential retreat by Harry…