Truth In Satire

Trump And LaPierre Meet To Discuss Ending Mueller Probe “N.R.A. Style”

Gun organization chief told President Trump his “patriotic, well-armed members are ready to do what needs to be done”

Image for post
Image for post
President Trump and the N.R.A.’s Wayne LaPierre have plans to stop the Mueller probe. (Credit:

resident Donald Trump and National Rifle Association chief executive Wayne LaPierre met in Washington on Thursday to thrash out ideas for bringing a quick end to the Mueller investigation.

Image for post
Image for post
Mr. Trump has credited LaPierre with “writing some of the best gun legislation this country has ever seen.” (Credit:

Both men feel that the months long probe by special counsel Robert Mueller and his team of investigators is getting too close to Mr. Trump’s door and threatens to bring down his presidency. That could also endanger the easy access that LaPierre and the N.R.A. currently enjoy to the White House and their role in writing administration policy on guns.

“The president and I had an excellent meeting in the Oval Office today and agreed that it’s time to let the N.R.A.’s enthusiastic five million members do what they do best,” said Mr. LaPierre, “and that is to intimidate people by giving them a good look down the barrel of their guns. We don’t believe that Mr. Mueller and his investigators understand how opposed our members are to the continuation of this probe. Our aim is to give them a clear understanding of what kind of ‘firepower’ our members can muster.”

Image for post
Image for post
President Trump says he doesn’t condone violence in the Mueller matter, but that he would pardon anyone arrested in an attack on the special counsel’s office. (Credit:

Several people who were in the meeting, however, say that LaPierre went further in giving Mr. Trump assurances that the N.R.A. would take the lead in bringing the Mueller probe to a close. According to those sources, who spoke on condition of anonymity, LaPierre told the president that “patriotic, heavily-armed N.R.A. members are ready to do what needs to be done,” and that they would bring the investigation to a halt in “a hail of bullets.”

Image for post
Image for post
Mr. Trump says that he enjoys being the N.R.A.’s “puppet on a string.” (

Asked point blank if LaPierre had suggested to him that armed N.R.A. members might intervene in the Mueller investigation, President Trump said “that’s total FAKE NEWS and not something I would ever condone. But if N.R.A. members do want to get involved, they should absolutely do so in an orderly fashion, meaning pistols in the front, long guns in the rear. And I’d also like to just say, NO COLLUSION, NO COLLUSION AT ALL!”

The only indication that N.R.A. members might be targeting Mr. Mueller is a photo on the organization’s homepage of the special counsel framed in a bullseye. Law enforcement officials say that they are monitoring the N.R.A. website closely for any indication that its members are mobilizing to make a move on the special counsel’s Washington office.


Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.


Written by

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store