Truth In Satire

Trump Accuses Obama Of Stealing His Big Wheel Just Before Election

President’s favorite toy, parked in Trump Tower garage, has gone missing since a few days before November vote

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President Trump says his Big Wheel, looking much like this one, was stolen in NYC, definitely by President Obama.

resident Donald Trump accused his predecessor, former President Barack Obama, of ordering the theft of his Big Wheel from the parking garage at Trump Tower just days before the November 8th election last year.

The unsubstantiated claim was made in a series of four highly emotional tweets early on Monday morning:

“Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my Big Wheel stolen from Trump Tower before my victory. This is Toy Felony! Sad!

“How low has President Obama gone to steall (sic) my Big Wheel during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!

“Is it legal for a sitting President to be stealing favorite toys prior to an election? A NEW LOW!”

“Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t voluntarily leaving the Apprentice, he was fired by his bad (pathetic) ratings, not by me. Sad end to great show.” (Note: inexplicably, this tweet was included in President’s Big Wheel twitter barrage)

As unusual as it is for one president to smear another, Trump added insult to injury by subsequently demanding that the FBI investigate Obama for the crime, one that appears to have no basis whatsoever.

By mid-morning on Monday, F.B.I. director James Comey was so distressed by the president’s fact-free, Big Wheel accusation that he asked the Justice Department to discredit the claim as false.

However, President Trump, during an on-air call with Fox & Friends, doubled-down on his baseless accusation:

“Obviously, Obama knew how much I like to do spinouts in the garage to calm down before bed,” said Trump. “I count on my Big Wheel for deep relaxation. And this theft occurred right before the stressful election! As I said, this proves he’s really a bad (or sick) guy, and Americans should not like him, they should like me.”

After the president’s phone call to Fox & Friends, the White House issued a statement saying: “The President’s words speak for themselves when it comes to this heinous act of Toy Felony by President Obama. It’s in the former president’s court now to return the Big Wheel. We will have nothing more to say on the matter. ”

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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