Union-busting treats

Trader Joe’s Settles Union Dispute With Yummy ‘Speculoos Cookie Butter’ Bribe

Lifetime supply of Chili & Lime Flavored Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips and Peanut Butter Filled Pretzel Nuggets added to workers’ booty

No union benefits can stand up to the creamy goodness of Speculoos. (Image credit: Amazon / The Spruce Eats)

Trader Joe’s union-busting troubles ended abruptly yesterday when the company offered workers a tasty bribe to end their organization efforts.

“We were already licking our chops when TJ brass dangled the Speculoos in front of us, but once they threw in the endless supply of Chili & Lime Tortilla Chips, Unexpected Cheddar Cheese, and Mandarin Orange Chicken we abandoned our unionizing efforts immediately,” said Audrey Chelton, a lead organizer. “If you had a choice between picketing and Peanut Butter Filled Pretzel Nuggets, you’d go with the pretzel nuggets, too.”

Additionally, the National Labor Relations Board said it would drop its prosecution efforts against Trader Joe’s after the grocery giant sent NLRB representatives a container truck filled with its Tiramisu Tortes, Hold the Cone Ice Cream Cones, and Portuguese Custard Tarts.

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