Truth In Satire

Trump’s Presidency Ends Today

Back in March, I wrote that Donald Trump would resign of his own accord on August 18, 2017. I wasn’t wrong.

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Bye bye, bozo. Don’t let the door bounce off your big ass on your way out.. (Credit: sputniknews.com)

On March 25th, I posted on Medium that Donald Trump would voluntarily resign the presidency on August 18th of this year.

I’m no soothsayer, clairvoyant, or clever diviner. I have no future vision or talent for prophecy. I just felt certain that Mr. Trump would blow himself up over the summer and be out by today.

I even described how Adolf Twitler’s exit would unfold (in fact, his demise has been even bloodier and more dangerous than I scripted).

But no matter what actually happens today, I’ll be right in my forecast of Trumpty Dumpty’s sensational fall and premature exit from Washington.

Because on this day, August 18th, people on the left, in the middle, and even on the extreme right all officially agreed that the Trump presidency is effectively over.

In a dramatic statement, Trump’s “Art Of The Deal” co-author, Tony Schwartz — who knows the president more intimately than perhaps anyone else in America other than those in King Leer’s own family—said that Mr. Trump is getting ready to exit his office, will do so by voluntary resignation, and that it is going to happen very soon.

According to a Huffington Post article on Thursday, Schwartz predicted that “Trump would make a deal for immunity in the Russia investigation in exchange for his resignation. ‘The Russia stuff will be huge,’ he wrote. ‘He doesn’t want to go to jail.’

Nor does Benedict Donald want to suffer any more blows to his outsize ego, risk losing whatever is left of his fading financial fortune, forfeit his phallic tower in NYC, squander an opportunity to start his own batshit-crazy-conservative TV network, or sacrifice a future of flagrant pussy grabbing with female white supremacists from Idaho who might, possibly, let him have one last sticky finger.

Need more confirmation that Darth Hater’s fate was sealed today? Consider that Senator Bob Corker, Republican chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee and one of Donald Trump’s most ardent supporters in the past, is now questioning SCROTUS’ “stability.”

Last night, the GOP senator was quoted as saying, “The president has not yet been able to demonstrate the stability, nor some of the competence that he needs to demonstrate in order to be successful.” With friends like that, who needs enemies to give you a final push over the parapets at Trump Tower?

Need more? Then contemplate this from Allan Lichtman, a professor of history at American University in Washington, who correctly predicted the results of the past nine presidential elections, including Trump’s. Lichtman told GQ in April (weeks after my post) that Donald Trump is “more vulnerable to impeachment than any early president in the history of the nation,” and would become only the third president in the nation’s history to be impeached.

But what Lichtman did not envision is the rapidity of Trump’s descent, nor the fact that a quick resignation (today, preferably), not a slow impeachment, is the only way for The Lyin’ King to stay out of prison.

Even Frank Bruni of the New York Times wrote in his op-ed column today, that this was the week when President Trump resigned: “…it’s indisputable that his presidency ended in the lobby of Trump Tower on Tuesday afternoon,” the day when The White Pride Piper returned to his defense of neo-Nazis in Charlottesville.

And frequent Trump agitator and former MSNBC host, Keith Olbermann, has also come around to my “sudden resignation” viewpoint. On his GQ series, , Olbermann recently said, “I have been anticipating that Trump’s last day in office will dawn like all the others, and then around dinner time it will suddenly break that he is about to resign.”

So here’s how it goes down: Prima Donald resigns. Mike Pence likely becomes president. Trump makes a deal with Pence to vacate his office in exchange for a presidential pardon. Das Gropenfuhrer goes off to start his white supremacist TV station while continuing to shower in his gold-plated Trump Tower bathroom instead of the general population stalls at the Otisville Federal Correctional Institution where Bubba Cleveland, a beefy convict who rules the wet rooms, would be thrilled to introduce Sir Sissypants to his anaconda-sized tonsil tickler.

Just remember this as you ponder the Donnie Bratso departure scenario that I have painted here: Donald Trump does not care about you, or me, or the American people, or even Vladimir Putin. He cares only about his brand…and that is now battered almost beyond recognition.

If he doesn’t stop the bleeding soon, The Fraud of Fifth Avenue will have no brand left to rebuild. It, along with his presidency, will be discredited, dismantled, and destroyed.

But he is not going let that happen. He WILL resign first. If not today, very soon. And you can mark August 18, 2017 as the day the wheels irrevocably flew off the crippled Trump Express.

Yes, my fellow Dolt45 detractors, Pudgy McTrumpcake’s lemon of a presidency is finally over.

God blessed America today.

…..

Afterword and correction: looks like God blessed America twice today!

https://www.yahoo.com/news/report-trump-wants-part-ways-steve-bannon-170026442.html

****

Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week, until the Orange Accident is no more.

I read every comment and I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.

–AI

Written by

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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