Democrats, liberals, the radical left, and good old progressives have submitted their final wish list for the holidays and seven “must-haves” stand out.
Here are some great last-minute gift ideas that every liberal will love in these troubled times of Trump:
- Weekly CSA Delivery of Rotten Eggs and Putrid Tomatoes: Your local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) participant farm is offering a very special service this holiday season for all your political protests in 2018. Every week, you’ll receive a basket overflowing with rotten eggs and putrid tomatoes — and strictly organic. These are wonderful orbs to hurl at presidential motorcades and while attending speeches delivered by Republican lawmakers. And because they’re organic, these decaying eggs and tomatoes really smash well against the dress shirts, suits, and smug faces of GOP representatives — just like the fruits and vegetables of yesteryear. Sign up with your CSA today!
- “Make America Great Again Like It Was Under Barack Obama” T-Shirt. The MAGALIWUBO T-shirt will be the hot item for 2018 when Donald Trump will be impeached and we’ll see a resurgence of Obama-like “hope” in America. It can’t come soon enough. Grab a few of these t-shirts before they sell out and let everyone know who the REAL president is and will always be.
- Enrollment in the Affordable Care Act: Deliver a firm F**K YOU! to Trump and his anti-healthcare, anti-American administration by signing up your favorite POTUS45-resister to Obamacare. Trump has declared war on the Affordable Care Act and nothing will piss him off more than record-breaking enrollment in Obamacare. Show you care about smart healthcare for all!
4. Notorious RBG Coffee Mug: Trump wants to appoint more conservative Supreme Court judges…and liberals will do anything to keep that from happening. That’s where Ruth Bader Ginsburg comes in, also known as the Notorious RBG. We must let Justice Ginsburg know we support her staying alive for at least four more years, while telling Trump he can’t defeat the glorious and Notorious RBG. If you love freedom, democracy, women’s rights, a balanced Supreme Court, legal abortion options, and a formidable legal mind on the highest court in the land, pick up the RBG coffee mug today from Cafe Press and toast from it whenever a Republican is in the vicinity. (Note: Works great for shots of bourbon, too, when all-things Trump are really getting you down.)
5. Arm Everyone You Know With The Most Powerful American Arsenal Of All: Donald Trump is a bigoted, homophobic, sadistic ape. He’s also a moron who does not know the first thing about the American system of government or the U.S Constitution he purports to defend. Ignorance always kills and knowledge always reigns victorious in the end. Which is why a copy of The U.S. Constitution and the Declaration of Independence are the only weapons we’ll ever need against the ignoramus president and his corrupt administration. Know your rights and arm yourself and liberal loved ones with true American power direct from the forefathers. Only $7.98 at Barnes & Noble.
6. It’s Not Too Early To Burn The Bum Sweatshirt: You know who you wanted in 2016 — anyone but Trump, but even better if it was Bernie. Well, everyone’s favorite curmudgeon and #1 socialist will be back in 2020 as sure as you can say “Dump Trump.” Get a head start on the campaign that is sure to gain more traction the next time around than it did in the last, and is way more likely to prevail. Bernie Sanders and what he believes in is what many on the radical left believe, too: let’s hear it for universal healthcare, free education, limited campaign spending, and a true end to the Trump-like oligarchy. Bernie knows how to burn the bastards down. Bernie Sanders in 2020! And, in the meantime, you can Feel the Bern in a 100% cotton sweatshirt for just $20 on Etsy.
7. The Pleasant POTUS Poop Neutralizer: We’ve all been a little irregular since the Cheeto-In-Chief took office, but it doesn’t mean we have to stink like Dumpeldore. This bathroom mist is just what Democrats and liberals need after they’ve trashed Trump in the toilet. Now, you not only can stand up against Sir Sissypants, you can have a long sit-in against him, too, with no worries about aromatic residue. Trump is a sh*t, we all know that, and this bathroom mist makes the point. The Trump that Dump poop spray is available on Etsy for the turd-cheap price of just $11.99.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this liberal’s wish list of great gifts for the holidays. Share it with your radical leftist friends and don’t forget — RESIST!
Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.
Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.