Truth In Satire

The 10 Real Reasons Why Melania Trump Wears Black Stilettos To Every Event

After harsh criticism for dressing in high heels while visiting Texas flood victims, the First Lady explains why it’s necessary

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Off to tread Texas floodwaters in her Manolo Blahniks. (Credit: footwearnews.com)
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Melania, momentarily safe from stepping her husband’s verbal excrement. (Credit: footwearnews.com)
  1. “High heels accentuate my height, stature, and slim profile. They make me look very thin while standing next to my husband, who should really be called HIPPOPOTUS, not POTUS. This svelte, graceful line allows me to maintain some measure of class and dignity no matter what stupidities are spewing out of the mouth of President Podger.”
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Hell hath no fury like a woman wearing shiv-like high heels. (Credit: popsugar.com)
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“Heel, you thickheaded, fat-assed imbecile, heel!” (Credit: Pinterest.com)
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“Watch your hands, buddy, I wear lethal footwear.” (Credit: mirror.co.uk)
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The First Lady giving the South Lawn a good airing out. (Credit: Inquisitr.com)

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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