Water-logged Texans, already angry about President Donald Trump using their Hurricane Harvey miseries to get higher TV ratings, effectively told the commander in chief to “go home” when he visited their state on Tuesday.
“We don’t need that windbag stirring up another gale around here,” said a resident of Houston, who had spent the past three days sandbagging his home against rising floodwaters. “Whatever he touches or talks about turns to shit, and we have enough of that floating around in our streets.”
A woman being evacuated from a rooftop in Rockport, TX, was asked if she though President Trump’s visit might help people in her town who were hardest hit by the historic storm. Her reply: “Help? From Trump? The reality TV star? Nah, he’s just looking for ratings, or sell something — he’s got no mind to help us down here in Rockport.”
The president did, in fact, use the catastrophe to promote some of his merchandise. Three times in the past four days when speaking before the press to talk about Hurricane Harvey he wore a variety of hats that he sells for $40 on his Donald J. Trump website.
For that reason and others, the president, who landed in Corpus Christi and visited a number of relief centers in southeast Texas, generally was not greeted warmly by citizens of the Lone Star State, who are living through a nightmare with a long, painful recovery process ahead of them.
“You can’t expect Texans to trust that lying hunk of East Coast billionaire,” said Cal Johnson, the owner of a feed store 20 miles northwest of Houston. “He’s just another bloated sissy clown who wears fancy loafers instead of western boots and nice suits instead of Wranglers. People think he’s just here snooping around trying to figure out how much money he and his family can make rebuilding the place. That’s Trump — always with his mind on the money, never the common man. A real snake in shark’s clothing, that guy.”
The president toured the hurricane affected areas with Texas Governor Greg Abbot, First Lady Melania Trump, FEMA Administrator Brock Long, and White House Chief of Staff John Kelly who was there to prevent Mr. Trump from making serious gaffes and embarrassing blunders.
Mr. Trump did have one close call. Instead of offering succor to hundreds of distressed people who came out to receive support from the visiting president, he could not restrain himself from declaring, “What a crowd, what a turnout.”
The president also stuck a rain boot in his mouth when he told a gathering of first responders, “Keep one eye on the people you’re saving and one eye on the cameras because you’re all going to be very, very famous in the days ahead. America is tuned into Texas like they used to watch my show, The Apprentice. And you know we had an average 37% share in our first three seasons — without a hurricane to help us with audience draw. Anyway, good luck!”
Mr. Kelly finally corralled the president and ushered him back to Air Force One at the moment when Mr. Trump awkwardly tried to ingratiate himself to a group of Houston schoolchildren by telling them that “New York City has a road named ‘Houston Street,’ but it is actually pronounced ‘How-ston Street’ and I’m not really sure why.” The children stared absently at the president, no doubt still in shock from their devastating ordeal of the past six days.
Author’s Note: I have been criticized in the past week for making light of the destructive and deadly hurricanes that have hit the United States. It’s true, I’ll try to find humor in anything and I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone. That said, if you must sandbag your home against floodwaters, it is best to stack Republicans in the path of the surge because they are heavier, thicker, and less likely to budge.
Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.
Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.