Truth In Satire

Supreme Court To Hear Case Of Baker Who Refused To Make Penis Cake For Gay Union

SCOTUS will review appeal of CO man who declined to bake cock-shaped cake for same-sex wedding on religious grounds

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The owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop says that making wedding cakes for gay couples would dishonor God. (Credit: The New York Times)

In 2012, Masterpiece Cakeshop owner Jack Phillips refused to bake a custom, penis-shaped cake for the wedding reception of a gay couple, David Mullins and Charlie Craig.

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Mr. Mullins and Mr. Craig settled on a vanilla wedding cake with lemon frosting topped with a 9-inch marzipan penis for their reception. (Credit: RantNOW)

That couple filed suit, charging discrimination by the bake shop, and won their case before the Colorado courts.

But on Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court agreed to insert the “Penis Cake Case” into their docket, and hear Mr. Phillips’ appeal based on religious freedom protections. Mr. Philips’ lawyers have argued that the cake artist can legally refuse to make cock cakes, dick doughnuts, penis pies, todger tarts, and cum gun crullers.

The SCOTUS ruling on Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission will likely be a major test case for businesses like florists and photography studios who have also argued, like Mr. Phillips, that using their creative talents to serve same-sex couples would displease God and violate their constitutional rights.

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Vagina cakes are a popular baked-goods item at baby showers and bachelorette parties. (Credit:

Lawyers for Mr. Mullins and Mr. Craig claim that Mr. Phillips’ argument is specious because he regularly bakes his famous “Vagina Cake,” and “Clitoris Eclairs” for bachelorette parties, which proves he’s actually discriminating against their gay clients based on sexual orientation.

While it is not clear when the Supreme Court will take up the Penis Cake Case, it will likely be later this summer, giving the top court’s judges an opportunity to sample a slice of Mr. Philips’ vagina cake as well as the various cock cakes created by other custom bake shops.


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