Truth In Satire

Stephen Hawking Blames 4-Hour Long NFL Games On “Elasticity Of Time”

Posits new Quark-Gluon Time Sequencing Theory to explain phenomenon of 60-mins stretching into entire Sunday afternoon

Dr. Stephen Hawking watching highlight reel from 2004 Ravens-Broncos double-overtime thriller that ran for four-and-a-half hours. Afterwards, he called it “a perfect example of my Quark-Gluon Time Sequencing Theory in action.”

Dr. Stephen Hawking, the famous English physicist and author, has formulated a theory to explain one…