Truth In Satire

“Spygate” Confirmed: Four Moles Operating Inside White House Exposed

President Trump’s suspicion of sleeper agents in his midst is proven correct; spies are well-known to law enforcement

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The double agents (above) working inside the White House had almost unlimited access to the president. (Credit: www.dailykos.com)

resident Donald Trump’s persistent charges that the F.B.I. planted spies inside his 2016 election campaign and within his administration, a matter that he has called “Spygate,” has been proven correct.

“I got ‘em!” tweeted the president on Wednesday. “I knew bad people were watching me and now these sleeper agents are going to pay. GUANTANAMO!”

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The four spies were often spotted together at White House functions. (Credit: www.timesofisrael.com)

According to officials at the Justice Department, the four spies have been secretly reporting to the F.B.I. about the president’s actions since at least August of 2015, and enjoyed intimate, almost unlimited access to Mr. Trump.

“One of them got close enough to the president on a daily basis to repeatedly rebuff his attempt to hold hands,” said one Justice Dept. official who spoke off the record, then qualified his statement. “I’m not saying it’s a woman, but it could be and that person might have had keys to his private quarters, too.”

Another official did confirm that the F.B.I. spies included two women and two men, none of whom was working terribly hard to conceal their identities.

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Two of the spies are seen here plotting nefarious stuff. (Credit: www.timesunion.com)

“We’ve been watching these four plants for years now and we’ve been stunned at how brazen they are,” said a third Justice Dept. representative. “One thing is clear, they hated the president and wanted to see him brought down. They were feeding high-quality, first hand intel about his many criminal actions to the F.B.I., as well as leaking a lot of juicy information to the press.”

The president, despite the news that he had been caught red-handed committing serious felonies on multiple occasions by these four spies living and working inside the White House, seemed elated that his claims of a “Spygate” operation in his midst were confirmed.

“I told you, I told you so,” wrote Mr. Trump on Twitter, “spies were everywhere but no one would listen to me! DOUBLE-CROSSING COWARDS! Prison is too good for them. FRY THE SPIES!”

As the four F.B.I. informants were being escorted from the White House, one of them, a dark-haired male with heavily pomaded hair, was heard whimpering like a child.

****

Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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