Satan Decides To Take Some Time Off “Now That Donald Is Covering For Me”
Prince of Darkness also well pleased with Trump’s cabinet picks — “about as deranged an assortment of evildoers as I could hope for”
Saying that President-Elect Donald Trump’s top picks to lead America’s government “compare favorably to Adolf’s infamous band of murderers and mental cases,” Satan has decided to take a well-earned vacation and travel to an exclusive resort along the Equator.
The Devil commended Mr. Trump on “scaring the hell out of the entire world” while dealing a death blow to compassionate governance. “It is refreshing to see rampant violence, wretched terror, and bloody war making a comeback,” said Lucifer. “I just knew I could count on Don to upend any hope of benevolent leadership and set a new low standard for degeneracy.”
Asked where specifically he might travel to during his extended time off, the Angel of Death reflected for a moment, then said, “You know, it’s been so long since I’ve taken a serious holiday, I’m not sure exactly where I’ll be headed. I keep a summer place in Vegas but I just rented it to one of my favorite despots, Bob Duterte of the Philippines. But I hear that Tunisia can get up to 130ºF this time of year — that’s my kind of sizzling — and it’s right on the Mediterranean!”