Truth In Satire

Russians Paid Trump $500,000 To Arrange Private Stormy Daniels Strip Show

Oligarchs tied to Putin were so excited to see a performance by the president’s porn star, they offered to buy him 2016 election

The president received a half million dollars to stage a strip show by Stormy Daniels for wealthy Russians. (Credit: http://www.nydailynews.com)

BREAKING: President Donald Trump’s personal fixer, Michael Cohen, received $500,000 from Russian oligarchs in 2016 to pay for a private performance by porn actress Stormy Daniels. The evening of striptease and pole dancing was arranged by the president.

Russians paid Cohen millions. He then paid Trump, who paid Stormy $130,000, then pocketed the rest himself. (Credit: www.outsidethebeltway.com)

“There is nothing illegal, unethical, or immoral about grown men watching an attractive women strip naked onstage,” said a besieged President Trump, speaking to reporters on Tuesday night. “And as you know, I owned the Miss Universe beauty pageant for many years, so I really know how to put together a red hot, super sexy show for lustful men. If some insanely rich Russian gents are willing to pay handsomely to see Stormy’s magnificent vaginal undulations, who am I to stop them? It’s still a free country!”