Truth In Satire
Roy Moore Says He’ll Return To “Poling” Alabama Women In Shopping Malls
Defeated Republican candidate says Senate victory would have “cut into my time getting to know female voters biblically”
During a concession speech after his stunning defeat in the Alabama special election for the U.S. Senate, Republican loser Roy Moore seemed almost relieved that the contentious campaign was over and he could return to his previous passions.
“I want to assure the voters of the great state of Alabama that I will not let this razor thin defeat get me down,” Moore asserted. “Tomorrow I will saddle up my horse, ride to the nearest shopping mall, and continue my work poling Alabama’s women, just as I have done for years.”
Roy Moore is known for his diligence in cruising Alabama malls where young women congregate, getting to know their views from every angle. He has bragged in the past about “having an intimate, biblical understanding of the female voter in my state.”
In the county where Mr. Moore lives, news that the former judge lost the election and would not be going to Washington as its Republican Senator was met with great disappointment. Alabamans were not only upset that Roy Moore would not be helping President Trump advance his conservative agenda, they were also annoyed that they would have to return to chaperoning their underage daughters wherever they go.
****
Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.
Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.
Thank you.
–AI
