Not The Truth

Report: Russian Troll Farm Indicted In Mueller Probe Also Used Elves And Pixies

Large number of elusive beings with magical powers joined Internet trolls to sabotage U.S. election, new report finds

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Vladimir Putin’s favorite troll is said to be the ambitious Prigozhin, who works out of an oak tree near St. Petersburg. (Credit: omega3456.deviantart.com)

A new investigative report by The New York Times claims that the Russian troll farm used to undermine the 2016 U.S. presidential election also employed gnomes, goblins, fairies, pixies and elves.

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Photo of the beautiful Russian fairy who used her urine stream to enchant Donald Trump and get him to do the bidding of the Kremlin. (Credit: antiquelilac.com)

The fairy tale beings, known for their supernatural powers and extraordinary magical abilities, infiltrated the Internet and cast spells on people who viewed Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube. As a result, they were able to sabotage the campaign of Hillary Clinton and tilt the election toward the candidacy of Donald Trump.

“No one has access to folktale entities or exploits them more effectively than the Russians,” said Professor Leonard Smalanov, an expert on supernatural entities who was born in Belarus and now lives in London. “It isn’t just the troll farms either. The Kremlin has sophisticated pixie plantations and gnome sweatshops also working full-time on disrupting the American democratic process.”

Dr. Smalanov said that teams of trolls, fairies, sprites, pucks and elves worked primarily under the direction of Prigozhin, a 1250-year-old troll who has won the trust of Russian President Vladimir Putin and runs his operation out of the root base of an enormous oak tree in the forests north of St. Petersburg.

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A rare photo of Lawrence the Leprechaun, who served on the court of Queen Victoria in the 19th Century. (Credit: news.avclub.com)

“Without Prigozhin working his magic,” says Dr. Smalanov, “Putin’s troll farms and pixie plantations would never have been able to influence the American election process the way they did. Prigozhin is the key — he’s not afraid to do Putin’s dirty work or recruit others in the magical realms to help him.”

Smalanov added that while it is unusual for supernatural entities to sell their services to individual countries or their leaders, it is not unheard of. Many believed that Chairman Mao of China had a powerful goblin under his employ and Queen Victoria of England often spoke of “Lawrence the Leprechaun,” who she credited with securing treasures from the far reaches of the British Empire.

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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