California’s Prop 63 Would Ban Dumb-Ass Expressions Like “Limited Bandwidth”

Referendum would also prohibit use of “AF, “squad goals,” “let’s circle back” and (puke) “paradigm shift”

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California’s new legislation has particularly strong language regarding the use of worn-out and pretentious business jargon, like “buy-in, “tee it up,” “move the needle,” and perhaps, most obnoxious of all, “limited bandwidth.”

In California, November 8th could spell a bad day for stale expressions that we’ve all come to dislike, but overuse anyway. If Proposition 63 is passed, you can leave phrases like “sorry, not sorry,” “LOL,” and “honoring our vision” at the border, because they won’t be welcome in The Golden State anymore.

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If Prop 63 passes, using the meaningless term “run it up the flagpole” could cost you as much as $1000 in state fines.

“California has always been known as a thought leader,” said Governor Jerry Brown, rolling out a hackneyed expression of his own, “and our state wants to lead the nation once again by outlawing words and phrases that will prevent our country from moving forward in the future and advancing novel ideas.”

Gov. Brown added that penalties will be stiff, ranging from $250 for a single overused word to as much as $1000 for a phrase deemed obsolete as far back as the early 2000’s. “We just can’t have people blurting out ‘slay’ on our streets anymore or grown adults uttering the phrase “I know, right?” as if they are being interesting or original,” said the governor. “We must draw the line somewhere.”

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Uttering the phrase “low-hanging fruit” will become a no-no in CA.

California voters fond of cliches are fighting Prop 23 with every banal expression at their disposal: “With all due respect, at this moment in time, I personally think that this proposition is cray-cray and it hurts me right in the feels,” said Bob Triter, President of the California Semantics Institute.

Other unimaginative Californians were equally upset. Told she would no longer be able to mouth the word “adorbs” in public, Shannon Carlson of Palo Alto was dumbstruck, “But wait, adorbs is adorbs!” No, Shannon, the word was discontinued in 2013.

Greg Sola of Los Angeles also could not believe he will be forbidden from saying “FOMO.” “What the hell am I supposed to replace FOMO with, it’s perfect?” Uh, you could try, “I’m afraid I might miss out.”

For a complete list of words and phrases that will be made mercifully illegal in California if Proposition 63 passes, go to www.calgov.com/prop63.

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