Truth In Satire

Trump Takes Steps To Avoid Vomiting On Other World Leaders, George Bush-Style

Asian heads of state, however, offer no guarantees that they won’t puke on the president

First Lady Barbara Bush rushes to the aid of her husband who had just heaved on a world leader. (Credit: www.sbs.com.au)

As he enters his third day of a multi-day trip to five Asian nations, the White House says President Trump is using several barf-blocking techniques to avoid creating an international spewing incident.

The president’s puke prevention plan is a response to an embarrassing incident that occurred in January of 1992, when then U.S. President George H. Bush threw up on Japanese Prime Minister Miyazawa Kiichi during a Tokyo banquet. He then collapsed onto Kiichi’s lap before his wife, Barbara, ran over to stanch the flow of vomit with a dinner napkin.

Trump’s 12 barf-blocking travel tips were provided to him by his White House medical team and leaked to reporters hours before his departure on Friday:

1. When in Japan, drink only Trump branded bottled water, not the runoff coolant liquid from the failed Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, which the Japs might offer you. This will help prevent the Hirohito Shits, which is the Japanese equivalent of Montezuma’s Revenge.
2. Use Eric and Don. Jr. as official presidential taste…