Truth In Satire

Pruitt Knew It, Didn’t Review It, Then Said Screw It

EPA Chief tried to hide massive pay raises at his agency, but blew it and probably won’t pull through it

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Trouble’s brewing, and Pruitt can’t subdue it. Credit:

he head of the Environmental Protection Agency, Scott Pruitt, said this week that he didn’t know about hefty pay raises given to two longtime friends from Oklahoma who were working at the agency.

But an investigation by the Washington Post revealed that Pruitt authorized the inappropriately large raises and did nothing when challenged by EPA officials concerned about the size of the salary increases.

“Pruitt totally knew it, never reviewed it, then said screw it and let the raises stand,” said one EPA official who spoke rhythmically on condition of anonymity. “He really blew it by lying and now no one at the agency thinks he can pull through it.”

Speculation that Mr. Pruitt is on the ropes and will likely not survive the growing controversy surrounding the crony pay raises increased on Friday when it was reported that White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has been encouraging President Trump to fire the EPA director.

“No can say how long he’ll be at the EPA after this scandal over pay,” said another agency insider speaking poetically, “but there is much dismay virtually every day over Scott Pruitt’s foul play.”

The head of the EPA is also under scrutiny for ethical issues related to a low-cost condo rental he accepted from a lobbyist and the abuse of first-class air travel. Only Mr. Pruitt’s close relationship with President Trump, who is also a crook, has saved him from getting the hook.


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