Truth In Satire
Protesters Steal NYC Sanitation Trucks, Use Them To Block Trump Tower
“Nothing says ‘Clean up your act, Mr. President!’ like seven, 30-ton garbage trucks at your front door,” said one protest organizer
Militant anti-Trump protesters stormed a Department of Sanitation garage on the West Side of Manhattan early this morning, hot-wired seven large garbage trucks, and drove them, convoy-style, across town.
The angry protesters then parked the commandeered vehicles bumper-to-bumper in front of the President-elect’s gleaming, eponymous building on glamorous Fifth Avenue.
“We wanted to make a 30-ton statement with an unmistakable symbol of our disgust,” said Marshall Lipton, a principal organizer of what has been coined the “Rolling Rubbish Revolt.” “Garbage trucks explicitly say what words can’t — that we think Trump’s racist policies, big business cabinet picks, positions on the environment, treatment of women, and tough talk against immigrants stink. It’s typical Trump trash from a junkyard dog of a president-elect.”
The Secret Service has told the NYC Police Department and Dept. of Sanitation to remove the trucks immediately, but they seem in no hurry to do so.
One policeman in full riot gear who asked to speak off the record said, “The guys all think it’s kinda funny, and we had Lady Gaga come down and all, and the protesters aren’t causing us no trouble, so we may take our time getting these trucks outta here. They’re not hurting nobody.”
Asked how long they expect to continue their “Rolling Rubbish Revolt” and remain hunkered down in front of Trump Tower, Mr. Lipton said, “Well, garbage pick-up is every Tuesday and Thursday, so I guess we’ll stick arond until the sanitation department needs their trucks back.”
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