Allan Ishac’s Naked Satire

President, Without Evidence, Claims U.S. Has Invisible Weapons To Fight Its Enemies

Trump says he worked with the military to develop an “arsenal of death so undetectable, the bad guys will never see us coming”

President Trump demonstrating what he called “a state-of-the-art Invisigun.” (Credit: yournewswire.com)

President Trump claims that he directed the Pentagon from his first day in office to start developing a sophisticated stockpile of lethal, totally invisible weapons that he called “America’s new stealth death arsenal.”

At a news conference on Saturday, Mr. Trump announced, “these unbelievably cool weapons are now ready to be deployed for the coming storm.”

The president told reporters that the cloaked arsenal would make the American military “unbeatable, undefeatable, and un…I can’t think of another word.” (Credit: thedailykos.com)

His storm remark was an apparent reference to an ominous comment the president made on Thursday evening after meeting with the nation’s top generals. He called the gathering of his military think tank, “the calm before the storm.” Mr. Trump would not elaborate further, but many speculated he was hinting at an impending military action that might bring his alleged, “unobservable” weapons cache into service.

Asked about a development time of only nine months for the creation of the world’s first invisible arsenal, many defense contractors and arms experts said that it seemed impossible. But the president insisted that the weapons were fully operational, saying “it’s go time for stealth death to America’s enemies.”

Mr. Trump kept repeating the line, “You can’t fight what you can’t see.” (Credit: breitbart.com)

The president even appeared to demonstrate one of the “cloaked weapons,” holding up his empty arms as if firing a rifle. When reporters questioned him about the gun’s existence, without any supporting physical evidence that he had a viable weapon of any kind in his hands, Mr. Trump replied “and that, my friends, is the beauty of these amazingly sophisticated, unseen killing machines.”

Pressed on his claims, the president grew exasperated, heatedly telling reporters, “The fake media is trying to discredit my military expertise and undermine my determination to arm every American fighting man and woman with the greatest invisible weapons in the history of mankind.”

Refusing to answer additional questions, President Trump stormed from the podium, but not before holstering two invisible pistols that he said “could take down an ISIS fighter from 200 yards before he ever knew what hit him.”

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Thanks all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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