Truth In Satire

President Uses Stunning Defense To Explain Long History Of Conspicuous Lying

Trump says he is innocent of telling falsehoods because he has had his fingers crossed behind his back the entire time

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President Trump demonstrated his technique for protecting himself from accusations of lying. (Credit: powerside.wordpress.com)

fter revelations that President Donald Trump has been lying all along about a $130,000 hush money payment he made to porn actress Stormy Daniels, the president says he has been nullifying all those lies by using a time-honored technique.

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“You may not like it, but there it is — with my fingers crossed behind my back, I’m in the clear.” (secondnexus.com/news/politics/how-often-trump-lies/)

“Very simple, I’ve had my fingers crossed behind my back,” said Mr. Trump. “Check any photo, go ahead, look at any photo where I am lying and you’ll see, my fingers are extremely crossed.”

The act of crossing one’s fingers is mostly used by children as a gesture to excuse the telling a lie or to nullify a promise being made. Considered childish, it is rarely used by adults and it has never been used to excuse the telling of falsehoods to the American public by a president of the United States or senior government official.

“If Mr. Trump thinks he is going to walk into Robert Mueller’s office, or any court of law in this country, and be excused from perjury because he’s been crossing his fingers behind his back, he has a rude awakening coming to him,” said Lloyd Childer, a former U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia. “Frankly, it’s the most infantile and absurd defense for a history of pathological lying that I have ever heard, and any judge who Trump tries to pull that on is going to laugh in his face first, then lock him up next.”

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After leaving a White House press conference Thursday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was also seen with fingers crossed behind her back. (Credit: www.cheatsheet.com)

When asked on Thursday if President Trump really believes that finger crossing will absolve him of guilt for months of conspicuous lying while in office, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders responded, “As everyone knows, when your fingers are crossed behind your back, it invalidates the lie you just told. The president and his outside lawyers believe that any court that hears this argument will absolutely agree. Next question…”

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

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Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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