President Trump is appealing to men across the nation who are dressing up as him for Halloween to continue wearing the costumes long after October 31st.
Although he denies it publicly, the president has told his White House legal team that “this is an incredibly brilliant plan for keeping Mueller off my scent for a couple of years. How do you find one handsome man among millions of handsome men? Impossible, right? This is such a smart idea…and I thought of it myself.”
When questioned by reporters about his costume scheme, Mr. Trump would only say that his unusual request to Trump imitators should be considered “free presidential advice” for lesser men across America.
“Everyone knows that I, Donald Trump, am irresistible to women. I now want to make it possible for every American male — even minority men whose faces will be covered with mine — to have the same opportunity to score with the ladies that I enjoy. Who knows, there might even be an Eastern European mail order bride in your future!”
Asked about a rumor that the White House would provide a Trump mask to any man who requested one, the president responded, “We’re working on that and we should have pick-up locations in place across the country by early next week. We’re definitely going to make that happen, believe me.”
At the time of publication, Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, Steve Bannon, and Donald Trump Jr., were also asking anyone who would be dressing like them for Halloween to continue wearing the disguises.
Thanks all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.
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