Truth In Satire

POLL: Bannon’s Barn Coat Deemed More Sinister Than Trump’s Black Overcoat

A majority of Americans recoil at the sight of the soiled Barbour Bedale jacket worn every day by the scruffy political provocateur

Bannon’s barn coat frightens 75% of Americans, but they are even more afraid of what’s in it. (Credit: nydailynews.com/www.theseattletimes.com)

According to a new poll, more Americans find the barn coat worn daily by former Trump adviser Steve Bannon to be significantly more sinister than Donald Trump’s ubiquitous black overcoat.

By a two-to-one margin, Americans deemed Bannon’s “smelly, disgusting, soiled” barn coat to harbor more evil intentions than the “dark drape of death” that the president always wears over his suits.

TIME TO VOTE: Which outer garment do you find to be more off-putting and evil-looking? Cast your vote in comments section below. (Credit: cbsnews.com, mic.com, jewishtelegraphagency.com, fortune.com, todayshow.com, dailyherald.com)

Most of those polled felt that the Barbour Bedale jacket owned by Bannon “must be saturated with all the hateful ideas, white nationalist views, and odious positions” of the man credited with being the architect of President Trump’s anti-democratic, anti-American, misanthropic policies.

Many believe that Bannon would have given a Hitler salute in this photo had his crusty jacket allowed him to raise his arm a bit higher. (Credit: cnn.com)

While Mr. Trump’s signature cold weather garment was branded “the cloak of the oppressors” by many respondents, worn by some of the most malevolent men in history including Adolf Hitler, Genghis Khan, Dracula, Saddam Hussein, even Boris Badenov from The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, it did not generate the same level of revulsion as the Bannon coat.

“Most people we spoke to believe that while Mr. Trump’s stern, unfriendly overcoat is frightening, Bannon’s Barbour is so infused with the demon’s depravity it can stand upright on its own,” said Russell Heynus, a top statistician who conducted the poll. “If it can stand on its own, it can probably initiate and execute villainous acts independently, which to average Americans makes it the far more fearsome and intimidating of the two garments.”

Mr. Heynus says that in his next national poll, he’ll survey Americans on whether Melania’s stiletto heels are more unnerving than Kellyanne Conway’s disrespectful feet up on the couch.

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–AI