Truth In Satire

Pence Sues Mueller For Dragging Feet On Ending Trump Presidency

“He knows I’ve had my Oval Office slippers ready for months, but he’s taking his own sweet time just to make me crazy,” says VP

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Mike Pence is suing Robert Mueller for “a cruel and unusual delay” in clearing out the Oval Office. (Credit:
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“That bottom shelf would be the perfect place to store my slippers once I’m in the Oval.” (Credit:
  1. Mr. Mueller promised his friend, former FBI Director James Comey who was fired by Mr. Trump, that if he became special counsel, “he would ensure a slow, painful political death for the president and his family.”
  2. The team of special prosecutors is taking particular glee in watching Donald Trump Jr. bumble his way through interrogation sessions and doesn’t want his suffering to end prematurely.
  3. Mr. Mueller is studying the Constitution to see if Mr. Trump’s presidency can be declared “null and void,” thereby striking it from the history books so future generations of school children never have to learn about this stain on American democracy.
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“Get up, you heathen, and let a real Christian take his rightful place as president.” (Credit:

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