Truth In Satire

Obama Did Not Know He Could Continue Managing Rap Artists In His Spare Time

Former president now regrets giving up representation of Lil Wayne, 50 Cent, and Ludacris to assume office in 2009

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A week before his first inauguration in 2009, Barack Obama met with Lil Wayne to officially terminate his representation of the rapper. Both men say their connection went far beyond manager and music artist, more like aces. (Credit: spin.com)

fter more than a year in office, it has become clear that Republican lawmakers will not challenge President Donald Trump’s determination to retain control over his multiple businesses enterprises while in office.

Upon hearing this, Barack Obama expressed disappointment at having given up his music management business before his first presidential term began in 2009.

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50 Cent was just one of many artists Mr. Obama had on his roster of rising stars. “We coulda made 15 platinums together, real metal, fuck right,” said the legendary rapper.

“I was about to make some mad bank, I mean serious scrilla, representing my hip-hop crew,” said the 44th president, “but it never went down ‘cause everyone said I had to divest my management company before taking office. Now I find out it’s perfectly cool to violate the Constitution and own a business while you’re a sitting president — so you’ll excuse me if I’m a little heated right now, feel like rolling up to the White House, do a little tagging on the orange man’s domicile.”

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Back in Chicago, the president had mad flava and still likes to slip on his “grill” and drip with bling to remind himself of the dope times he had as a rap and hip-hop impresario.

Mr. Obama said that in his opinion, Mr. Trump “wasn’t giving the founding Daddys the props they deserve,” because he is threatening to violate provisions of the Constitution regarding conflicts of interest. “This Donnie dude thinks he’s gangsta, but he’s just fake ass wangsta” said the ex-president. “He better straighten his jammy out or he ain’t going to be welcome in this D.C. hood.”

It was believed that Mr. Obama would be doing charitable work after he left office, as well as writing a memoir about his eight years as Commander-in-Chief. But not until now has he discussed returning to the music management business, which he sold to Dr. Dre in August of 2008.

“Barack was a kickin’ manager,” said Lil Wayne. “If he wants to be a hype man for his peeps again, they be game, I know that.”

Lil Wayne also hinted that he could probably get the former president a major role in the next Fast and Furious film. “I seen my prezy drive that Vette with Seinfeld while sippin’ java — my brotha can pop a stick.”

****

Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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