Nobel Peace Prize Committee Finds No One To Nominate For First Time In History
“One little kid in Ghana waved us the peace sign, but everyone else was like, go f**k yourself!” — Nobel Chairman, Carl-Henrik Heldin
For the first time in its 115-year history, the Norwegian Nobel Committee found no one in the world acting peaceful enough to award them the coveted Nobel Peace Prize.
“According to Alfred Nobel’s will, the prize should go to a person who did ‘the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies, and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses,’” said Carl-Henrik Heldin, chairman of the committee. “We searched the entire globe for such a person, but everyone was just so hostile and pissed this year. We briefly considered a 14-year-0ld girl from Spain who got her entire soccer team to shake hands with their arch rivals after a heated championship match, but is that the Nobel standard? We thought not.”
The Nobel Prize ceremony, usually held in Oslo City Hall on December 10th of each year, was instead replaced by an exhibition of traditional Viking clothing. For more information about the ongoing display, visit www.nobelprize.com/vikingstuff.
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